NEW SINGLE - HOMEBOUND TRAVEL
I moved out when I was 15. "That's brave of you", people said. Sometimes I wonder if it would be braver of me to stay home.
At 19 I started travelling. I volunteered with different organizations in many countries. This was a dream. A dream which turned out to be difficult and draining, but which, seen in retrospect, was my door-opener to the world.
At 21 I moved to USA to "pursue a music career". Well, I started Berklee College of Music. My friends admired me. "You're living your dream", they said. "I admire you for doing what you love". "Is this what I love?", I thought….. It took only a few weeks at school, before I missed volunteering and travelling. I wanted to live the school of life and give of my resources to those who have less. I felt selfish as I spent thousands of dollars(which I didn't own, and still don’t) on education because "I love music". I wanted to quite every other day, and every other day I decided to give it another week. Secretly I was hoping that someone, a God or a person with good carma, would come and tell me "Let's move to India together and work on a farm" or, “let's quit school and go busking in Australia instead".
4 years later: I'm 26. I have a double bachelor degree in Songwriting and professional music, with a minor in Music Technology. I played 50 shows in 2017, I have released an EP and two singles, and I'm coming with my second EP + a vinyl within a few months. I have a tour coming up this summer. My band will fly in from US, and we'll play 17 shows in 12 days. I wake up every day to the sound of sheep and cows. I walk through the woods, take a dip in the ocean, before I enjoy my morning coffee and breakfast with salt in my hair….#dreamlife, right?
….and I have no idea what to do with my life. I don’t know where to be, or how to get through.
I don’t have money, time, energy or music to share…Yet, I push on, with Instagram posts and photoshoots, pretending that things are going great with the music, while waiting for it to be true. I pretend to love being creative and having billion ideas while the truth is that even just the word creative gives me headache. Yes, I do feel love and excitement for music, the love just hides once in a while. The good thing is, I'm not giving up, and there's got to be a reason for that. It’s that reason I hold on to.
So where do I go from here? What can I do?? The Facebook adds talk of successful LA living. "Mhm..interesting." Instagram shows me amazing folk, musicians from Nashville. "Is that where it happens?" I read articles about environment activists working on farms in India. And, did you know, a friend of a friend of a friend just drop everything, and went surfing for a year? "Can I do that?" ......There's so amny choices, and so many open doors. I have a clear goal in life, but my dreams are so many. I don’t know which road will lead me to my goal, and what is really my goal, and what is someone else's? I should feel free, yet I feel bound..
This is not a complain. It's the story behind Homebound Travel; it’s my story and the way life feels right now. As you probably know, things are usually not the way they look like on the outside. And moving to the great america to pursue a dream, don't necessarily lead to the dream it momentarily. For some, yes, for others..it takes a bit longer.
With all this spinning subconsciously in my mind I wrote Homebound Travel, a musical journey towards answers and greener grass, which may or may not exist.
"I can't go and I can't settle. It's a homebound travel standing still".
As a little PS, I want to say. I'm blessed for existing, for having my family around me, for being able to run barefoot in the grass and be reminded that, after all, it's all just a circle of life, and I’m apart the whole. Life is a homebound travel for all of us, sometimes more stable, sometimes out of balance. Let’s get through the ride together.