I started out with 10 seconds. That was all I could do. I've never liked closing my eyes. I don't trust the world enough. God knows what someone or something or somewhere might do to me. I find it hard to close my eyes at night too. No wonder why it's hard to sleep, but that's another story. I have practiced. Not often. Mostly when I'm home. And I barley noticed, but somehow the fear of what I can't see has taken a step back, and 10 seconds has become one minute. Some people

Live in the now - another cliché to tackle.... Biking is faster than walking. But if you don't know how to bike you don't get far, do you? I realize, I've tried to 'live in the now' meanwhile trying to figure out what it means to 'live in the now'. This is not a lesson on 'how to be present in the moment, though I've lately been learning that being present is more a synonym to acceptance than an antonym to rushing. Acceptance of where I am. Maybe less why and less when. Just

Nothing vs. Something I spend my days mostly doing what I call 'nothing'. To be specific, 'nothing' means taking walks, digging in the yard, playing with my nephews, making dinner, reading a book, cleaning the kitchen, making a mess and cleaning again. When I do 'something' I try to write a song, I practice guitar, write a blogg-post, fix my website, promote my music, film a insta-post, do some career planning… When I do 'something' everything I do have to somehow take my clo

'another day' is finally out, available on all music platforms 🙌🌵 I recommend you to turn the volume up, your shoulders down, lean back.....and enjoy! SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/track/6Fjb0yIxZwC6ktWuvK8nn6m … ALL OTHER: https://linktr.ee/eligauden The biggest thanks to Broen Studio and Jens Kristian Mørkeby Rimau for production. 💛 And shout out to Viktorija Gedrimiene Photography for amazing photos! ___________________ A new day is a new chance to wake up with cle

((I wrote this in 2 minutes. With pen and pencil. I didn't stop and I didn't think. It is written as thoughts, not as a grammatically correct essay. But I felt very confused today, and this needed to come out. Who am I...really?)) I am my own mind. I am my thoughts and my thoughts are me. They make my words and my words make us. I am my decisions. Even when they are wrong. But they aren't. A wrong decision is twice as right as no decision. So I am that, I own it, and I call i

Here's a tip. It's not new nor extraordinary, but it might make you feel extraordinarily great. The tip: Leave your phone and your earplugs and go out in the woods. You see, I told you, it is nothing extraordinary. But, when was last time you did that? I've always said that "I love nature". I do. Yet, find myself sitting inside almost all day, trying to force myself to practice or do something "important". I want to go skiing, I want to go hiking, I want to sleep outside, I w

This is the story about the soil and the grass, and about not knowing in who's heart you belong. #Breakup // Theme: Love _______________________________________________________________________ Suddenly the grass decided "soil, I don't want to touch anymore". Told him to look the other way. The soil adored it's beautiful grass so much. "You need me" he said. "No, I need myself, I can't be two" Poor soil, what could he do? "Well, if that's what you want" he unwillingly agreed.

After a lot of writing about not knowing what to do and which direction to push myself, January has started and it's time to give you a little update on which roads I have finally ventured onto. I think I have to quote my own Instagram post: So... I live in the same house as last fall. But I have a new room. It's big and it's only for me. This is a luxury which many musicians could only dream of. I've only lived here a few days, but has started to build a little practice and

Kvifor set eg karakter på dagen? Kan den i heile tatt målast? Eg veg tilfredsstillelse opp mot personleg vekst. Eg målar fysiske resultat, kjensle av glede, latter, tårer, smil, og fysisk aktivitet. Eg måler stad og tid. Og mykje meir. Og på den måten får eg plassert dagen ein eller anna stad på skalaen. Tingen er; ein produktiv dag kan vera ein god dag, men den kan også være dårlig. Ein dag i sofaen kan kjennest som frihet og livet, men den kan også kjennast som sløs og dep

Eg studerte sola, raud som ei tomat, hengjande lavt men stigande over vannkanten. Eg myste igjennom kamera-linsa, og fanga gule lysflekkar, seglande måsar, og eit eldre par hånd og hånd; som mørke skyggar framfor den no orange sola. Medan eg vassa i bøljetoppane som slo opp mot stranda vart sola gul, huden brun, og tankane blanke. Nesten som gjennomsiktige og flytane og nesten ikkje til stede. Eg tenkte ikkje på noko, samstundes på alt. Eg hadde kanskje håpa at svaret på live

Kvifor sit eg her? 25 grader, steikane sol, kyrkjer frå 1600-talet, og brusteinlagde smale gater. Med kaffi, appelsinjus, og saftig krossant som drypp av smør. Jomfrufontena sprutar framfor meg, og gatemusikanten spelar Mozart og Beethoven. Og tengo mucho calor, sjølv om det er nesten November. Men kvifor sit eg her? Ein relativ kort flytur heimanfrå, men ei heil verd unna. Valencia kan ikkje samanliknast med den våte, mørke, koselige hausten heime i Bergen. Eg elskar Noreg,

I'm very confused. I'm very low. I'm very motivated to feel great. I believe highly in my own art and abilities. And I hate it too. The sky is the limit and my ambitions are up there. But I have no how, thus, I loose my reasons. A dream is not just a cliché, it's the warmth inside my soul and it's the motion inside my heart. I feel my dream like laughter and fresh air. I see it like smiles and sunrise.I close my eyes and it's so beautiful. But I open my eyes and it's painful…

I can see it in people's face when the question is on the way. I can hear it in their long breath, and feel it in their presence. I send a quick millisecond prayer to the Lords, begging to be wrong. But no, the question comes anyways. ALL the time. "So what are you gonna do this fall?" In an attempt to not throw up in frustration, disappointment and fear, I mumble "ehh mm you know, Im just gonna, kinda just take a day at time, and you know, just see what happens, play some m

A week ago I posted a video on Instagram where I talked about how nice it would be if I could just die, and turn into a flower instead. A little dramatic and sad, but also the truth at that moment. Today I got the news that a friend of mine passed away. Amongst wild flowers up in the mountainside, her heart suddenly gave in, and she fell asleep for a very last time. There are no words to be said. Feelings can't be felt. Life is not the life I knew. It's like it has fooled me

Warmth in the cold. Or the opposite. It can't go wrong. It's like pluss and minus, sweet and salt. It's chemistry. I'm talking about the feeling of warmth in a cold environment. In other words: Cold March air and frozen, white ground. You stand leaning up against the wall to stay sheltered from the breeze. Then one, tiny, warm sunbeam find its way through the clouds and hit you right in the face. You frown your eyes in surprise and wonder. What a feeling! What a warmth! Can

I'm thinking again. Again I'm fascinated by my own confusion. I'm in wonder mode and expression land. I'm in a universe of math, where X and Y is Why and How. Some say that overthinking leads to unnecessary stress and confusion. "Just take it slow and accept life" they say. I believe that overthinking(in the end) may lead to a slow and accepted life, but through the lens of understanding and respect for myself and living. You know; we are all familiar with how humans work; we

At times you may have no idea where life is taking you. You may have an idea of your final destination, but you don’t know how you’re gonna get there. You may know what kind of journey you’d like to take, but you have no idea how you will make it reality. You don’t know where you are in a year, half a year, or even a month. And it’s this aspect of life, not knowing, which makes life so exciting, at least I think. If we want to figure the ending we actually have to live it. Ho

So I guess I must learn how to walk after all. I can’t just know it. I can’t walk without learning it. I can’t learn by being told to know; being told how to do it. I must do it. What that means is that I will also have to fall. I used to blame myself for falling, for not learning from other’s mistakes and years of walking. But little by little it seems to show that certain aspects of walking have to be learned by first doing it the wrong way. My mum have always told me to wa

Just thinking about that life is a thing I have to live makes me want to throw up. Makes me loose my breath for a second. Makes my heart skip a beat. Life is not bad. I have chosen it this way and keep choosing it every day. I laugh so it hurts my stomach. I eat berries from our yard for every meal. I work, I make money. My family drive me crazy but yet makes me whole every day. I have my secret moments with only me and the existence; me and the silence. I have so many good t

Sometimes I think… I think a lot. I get deep and emotional. I get even deeper and feel wise. But then I feel stupid. What’s the purpose of thinking and solving problems; coming up with smart ways to express emotional patterns of the human brain? Humanity is only a grain a of sand seen in relation to what’s around it Why should feelings matter? Why do we share so much about our own thoughts and believes? And for God’s sake, why am I writing this paper? See, now I’m going crazy