((Dear reader, I'm very happy to announce that a new EP, Follow me Home, will be out July 15th. Below is an honest and naked, but hopefully, good, description of what made me write the title track. Read, and feel free to leave some comments. Also, Don't forget to pre-save here. :)Thank you))
I sat in a practice room at Berklee, in Valencia. Through frustrations, anger, tears, and disappointment, I let the fingers find its way on the guitar and play itself. I opened my mouth, and let my thoughts come out.
My emotions were on fire, my head exploding, and my heart beating heavily but in loneliness. I looked in the mirror and saw a broken girl. It was the first time I had felt this feeling so strongly; Being let down and disappointed by another person. Yes, many times have I disappointed myself, and yes, I have hurt my friends too. This time it was someone else who made me feel as unimportant and weak and lonely as could possibly be. It had been many wake nights, and even from this point on, it would still take months before I would be able to put an end on it all.
I felt like someone's slave. Someone needed me. Someone was not happy. If only I could be the savior. If only I showed him what love is, he would show it to me too....I thought. "I would fix him."
But I was blind. Every time I left him, I left cried. I couldn’t understand why. What's wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? I tried to communicate. But he was a wall…and a clown. Put on a big smile and fooled the world. Same with me. He only a happy Eli, and he only wanted her only late at night.
He once lifted his hand towards me. He never hit, thank god, but thank God he lifted that hand….cause then I woke up. "What am I doing?" The Eli I knew had good values, hopes for the future, a smile from heaven, and dreams made of sunshine. But now Eli is had become a victim….
I left that day, and I didn’t look back.
Back in the practice room that February evening. I opened my voice. "Have you listen to my heartbeats? Have you listen to my words?"
When I sang those first lines to the empty room, I thought: "This is my new EP. An emotional, acoustic, raw and honest record.. It's gonna break peoples hearts with its words, and heal them with its music". I wanted to make people feel the vulnerably of life. In-between life's beauty, there's dark thoughts and fear. I wanted to highlight that through an angle-like sounds.
I kept on "Have you seen are really seen my eyes? Studied my many shades of blue? Can you see them in the dark; closer your eyes, yet see them spark? Maybe blue ain't the color for you".
Indeed, Follow Me Home did finally become the title track on my new EP. It took a year of recording, going back and forth, waiting and hating everything, before I finally put life to the music again. I've come far since that cold February night. From feeling like a heartbroken slave, to now a free traveler in a safe home in Norway. This EP will take you to some dark places, and some very light, seen from a young and ambitions woman's eyes. Background story for the others songs will come in the next blogpost.