Nothing vs. Something
I spend my days mostly doing what I call 'nothing'. To be specific, 'nothing' means taking walks, digging in the yard, playing with my nephews, making dinner, reading a book, cleaning the kitchen, making a mess and cleaning again. When I do 'something' I try to write a song, I practice guitar, write a blogg-post, fix my website, promote my music, film a insta-post, do some career planning… When I do 'something' everything I do have to somehow take my closer to my musical goals and give value.
Big realization today after doing 'nothing' for some weeks. I am in fact feeling better when I do 'nothing', rather than 'something', although I hate doing 'nothing'. I disgust myself when I do nothing. But letting time fly by just because I can, has allowed me to befriend time in a new way. Time has become something which exists while it also doesn't, and doesn't have to bother me at all. I can let it pass or just be or I can simply ignore it.
Time will be there if I consciously do something with it or not. Time will exist in every moment. Only I set the limit for whether I want to pay attention to it or not, and if I do pay attention to it, where I want to put the limit.
I guess the fact that I've let time fly by and put achievements on hold for a while, has allowed me to NOT fight with time but rather accept its presens. Some days I've been going to bed and felt happy about what happened that day, and that is an amazing feeling I'm not much used to. I have so many years of regret in my life which I still have to work through. However, this past months has thought me some lessons on how to approach each day to at least have fewer regrets in the future….I hope.
I honestly don't know what I'm talking about. Just thoughts. But I hope you find it insightful.