Thinking about songwriting. It is such a strange thing. Not as much the commercial songwriting where you gather a bunch of people and write, almost as a day-job. But the singer-songwriter kind of songwriting, where you snuggle up in a candle-light room and try to express you fears, you love, your stories, your secrets. And you try to turn it into something magical; A feeling as real it can almost be physically touched.
But when it comes down to it, it's just a song. One day it will be gone. Why do some of us spend our life putting words together to stories?
Some days I sit hour after hour writing pages up and down about something I'm not quite sure what is, but I can't stop. I'm looking for a feeling, a story I can't quite get a hold of. But I know is there. I keep writing. Days, weeks, years…. The song never find it's way out to the world. The idea simply wont reveal itself. I try to not think too much about the wasted time… But I cant help myself wonder why I do this?
I know the answer, and it's simple. I can not NOT write. I've tried, trust me. But even if no-one ever hear or read it or if it is the crappiest of the crappiest attempt of a song…. I have to write.
But that is only the why. Then you got the reward:
Once in while, and you never know why, you happen to find a melody you have NOT heard a billion times before and few words which makes sense. Your thoughts starts drifting. You see the pictures, feel the atmosphere, imagine how the audience will respond. You know you're up to something great, it's just like JESS! That's the reward.
But even though, sitting here and writing about writing, as a way to procrastinate writing, cause I've in fact crashed into a writers-block…(I found a beautiful melody but I cant find the words for it and I've spent 4 hours writing without coming up with anything usable) it just feels absurd. To write. Do you know what I mean? I still I cant stop myself form doing?
But don't worry, I'll keep on writing. Just a little introduction to a songwriters life