Learning to close my eyes
I started out with 10 seconds. That was all I could do. I've never liked closing my eyes. I don't trust the world enough. God knows what someone or something or somewhere might do to me. I find it hard to close my eyes at night too. No wonder why it's hard to sleep, but that's another story.
I have practiced. Not often. Mostly when I'm home. And I barley noticed, but somehow the fear of what I can't see has taken a step back, and 10 seconds has become one minute.
Some people call it meditation. Meditation has always made me angry, so I don't call it that.
I push my feet into the ground and find balance in myself. I lay my hands on the chest and close my eyes. I feel the cold on my cold fingers. Feel the wind lift my windy hair. Feel the warmth inside contrast with the cold outside me. I hear the wind play with the bushes to the right and the birds sing above me to the left. I feel how the hands move as the lungs fill up and empties. And with closed eyes I look for colors. There's so many of them, yet none.
When I open my eyes again the colors change. It goes from a floating painting to objects. Mountains, trees, roads, seas, birds, houses… depending on where I'm at. And no matter how many times I've been there before I'm always as surprised of what I see when my eyes open.
It's like seeing a place for the first time.
This is what I do to help myself remember moments. My body remembers better then my brain, so why not use the body?
I only do it for one minute, but if feels like a journey, and it's the best way of letting go of stress (as far as I have experienced).