62 pair of eyes. All on me. Hungry for input; For words to inform them, for notes to melt their hearts, and for jokes to intertwine them. Grey plastic chairs in rows. Straight backs and aching necks… but ears all open. Awaiting. Ready.
It is my role as the artist to shape the audience's mood. I can choose to be mysterious and shy, or I can be bold and eye-seeking. As much as it matters which approach I take, it still doesn’t matter as much as the energy I chose to send out…
We often use phrases like "I'm lacking energy" or "I don’t have the energy today". The truth is; We always have energy(according to a researcher I dont remember the name of).
Or bodies are filled with it and surrounded by it. Even after we die the energy floating around us can be measured. This means, there is nothing such as having or not having energy. However, we can choose to be passive or active in how we use it. This is quite vague and somehow a mental exercise. I've been experimenting with it lately and finding it really interesting.
Whenever the thought "I do not have energy" comes to mind, I take a breath and tell myself that although I don't feel the energy right now, I'm gonna send it out still. Cause I know it's there... I just gotta believe it. I have to chose to be active, rather than passive in my movements and the way I talk.
You know how giving a present sometimes feels better than receiving one. This feels a little bit like that in the way that I choose to "give of my energy" although energy is just what I need.
I guess this idea can be compared to when you go on stage, perform a speech, go on a date, and so on… You turn on a switch and BAAMM you are the best you can be. It's just that I use this very consciously in everyday situations. (trying to)
This is different from "putting on a smile" or "thinking positive".
I've found the phrase "think positive" very confusing and frustrating. There is nothing harder than forcing on a positive thought when you feel like you're lacking what's needed to even create a thought. Therefore this idea of thinking actively has really helped me step into positivity from the backside... if you know what I mean...
The belief that I have an eternal amount of energy around me has really changed my perspectives on what I am able to do. It gives me responsibility for my own life, puts me behind the steering wheel and makes the sky the limit. (This is all part of Law of Attraction theory which you can great info about on Youtube if you're interested).
Now, this leads me back to the story and yesterday's show.
It is me who set the mood. What I say between songs. How I let notes linger. How I let silence ring. How I let the applause reach me. How I let each word slip into the next and make a story…. Making a good show is so more than playing a good song.
And as true as it is that my own state of mind and appearance is what makes or breaks it for the audience… for me, it's the opposite. It is the audience who makes or breaks it for me.
The kindness, care, and energy from a few(or many) people can spread around in a venue like a flue, and when it does it creates a group of a dedicated and active audience.
This is what I felt happening yesterday, and what I will strive to make happen again and again. If I can keep finding energy when I feel like it's not there, to share love when I miss it, and give warmth when I'm freezing…. Then I guess we are onto something good:)
I rarely think about the responsibility I carry, while I'm on stage. But as I sit here with my morning coffee, gazing out on the bright sky, the philosophical me awoke and felt like rambling and pondering loudly on the paper... I know not all of this makes perfect, rational sense...but I hope you still enjoyed reading and got few new thoughts from it.
