((I wrote this in 2 minutes. With pen and pencil. I didn't stop and I didn't think. It is written as thoughts, not as a grammatically correct essay. But I felt very confused today, and this needed to come out. Who am I...really?)) I am my own mind. I am my thoughts and my thoughts are me. They make my words and my words make us. I am my decisions. Even when they are wrong. But they aren't. A wrong decision is twice as right as no decision. So I am that, I own it, and I call i

I can see it in people's face when the question is on the way. I can hear it in their long breath, and feel it in their presence. I send a quick millisecond prayer to the Lords, begging to be wrong. But no, the question comes anyways. ALL the time. "So what are you gonna do this fall?" In an attempt to not throw up in frustration, disappointment and fear, I mumble "ehh mm you know, Im just gonna, kinda just take a day at time, and you know, just see what happens, play some m

A week ago I posted a video on Instagram where I talked about how nice it would be if I could just die, and turn into a flower instead. A little dramatic and sad, but also the truth at that moment. Today I got the news that a friend of mine passed away. Amongst wild flowers up in the mountainside, her heart suddenly gave in, and she fell asleep for a very last time. There are no words to be said. Feelings can't be felt. Life is not the life I knew. It's like it has fooled me