It’s been a great summer when it comes to music and performing. I’ve played as mush as 20 shows/performances this summer. From intimate mountainhut-concert to packed gallelry and to Open Mic for no audience. In my situation, every performance is a new learning experience. Every new audience brings a different vibe and a different layer of emotions I need to peel off and understand. Learning how to fast and easy read the audience’ need is a craft in itself. Not to mention how to tackle the stage and sound. Every new place has a different new acoustic and sound to adjust to, and there’s always a challenge to befriend. No matter how my performance turns out, good or bad, I always learn something that I can take with me to the next performance.
Like I said, it’s been a long list of performances this summer. My friends tell me, “You’re doing amazing, Eli...I’ve seen it on facebook” But I have to be brutally honest with you(cause I don't know how to not be); my performance at Copenhagen Songwriters Festival this weekend was the first show I have looked forward to play in a long long time. As I strolled through Copenhagen, waiting for the festival to start, I felt it tickle and spark inside me. I felt nervous in the good kind of way, as if I really want to make it good, and I believed that I would, if only I could stay focused. I looked forward to be on stage and to tell my stories.
It’s this spark that has been gone for a while. It doesn’t mean I haven’t given my all, or done a fine job, or appreciated the opportunities. But... I’ve had this little layer of dust laying between me and my love for music, making it a must and a habit, rather than a passion. Daily the thought “I hate music” has popped up in my mind, and I haven’t been able to let my passion and drive for sharing my stories(or someone’s stories) take charge. Maybe what I've felt is that I haven't felt proud. I’ve felt embarrassed as I performed my music. I’ve felt like I’ve bothered my audience. This is a problem.
But now is different. I don’t know how it happened, but what I feel feels good. I went on stage on Friday, and I felt good about what I had to say. I wanted to give. I wanted to be in the light. Like I said, the reason for the abrupt change, I don’t know. But I now remember why I do this, and that’s all that matters.
When this is all said. Not just did I come to Copenhagen with a positive attitude and excitement to play. The festival turned out to be made of heart and soul. It’s run by passionate, open-minded, positive people. They book a ton of songwriters, ranging from great to amazing, and give them 40 minutes to shine and share their craft. I feel inspired and included and excited for what's next to come... Thank you for your open arms and support, Copenhagen Songwriting Festival!!!!
May my positivety last.